Things that make me go woohoo

Remembering her

I forgot it was my mother's death anniversary 2 days ago. I remembered it 2 days before the date and reminded myself that I want to post a quote on facebook in remembrance of her on the actual day. And then I forgot.

I feel part guilty and part glad about this. Guilty that am I not remembering her every day now. And glad that maybe I am moving on. That my life is no longer just about losing her. I know I remember plenty about her when she was alive. But somehow I am afraid of thinking about her as it always becomes all about her leaving. And how that has become the foundation of all my fears and neuroses.

But I also know this. That she was something different. She is like the great women I hear stories about. She never did the nagging thing, or whining thing, or superstitious thing. She listened and learned so much in her later years and was always dying to go out to try the latest food or coffee in town. She endured pain and discomfort with a smile and a twinkle In her eye, right up to the end. I saw faith in God alive in her.

Ok, this is not a eulogy. Someday I'll write a book about her. Some day.

6 years later

I feel like this is the part in a movie where they fast forward and say

6 years later...

and you see the characters in different hairstyles, dressed slightly older or something

And so here I am, no longer in my early thirties, no longer in advertising. Well, I do still love fashion and food and travel and film and design. I am definitely older and heavier. And hopefully wiser and more confident.

The gap in this blog represents the some of the hardest times of my life so far. I'm sure they will surface here, somehow. Just don't wanna throw a gloomy blanket over the whole blog, hence the pensiveness.

I've thought a lot about why people blog. And why I love to read blogs. As a source of information it's great. And a form of voyeurism, it's scary. Which has been why I was so hesitant to blog, as I'm not sure if I welcome strangers such a deep look into me. I've bumped into bloggers whose blogs I read and I recognise their husbands, boyfriends, kids, etc. Not something I want happening to me!

Then why am I blogging again?

I think for me, it's simple.

I have things to say. Until I can decide who I wanna say them to, I will say them here.