Tough topic

I was chatting with a colleague yesterday and somehow the topic veered to cancer. He lost his mother in law to breast cancer 2 years ago and his wife (like the rest of us people who lost family members to cancer) counts her life span according to her mum's age when she passed.

I told him about my experiences and he said my chances of cancer is higher. Rationally that is true and I think my anxiety has been built around trying to accept that. Higher means just that. Higher. It doesn't mean definite. It doesn't mean most probably. It's statistics and things that are unlikely to happen can happen. Things that are likely to happen don't always happen. I was worried that his statement would throw me into the throes of anxiety again. It did affect my mood for an evening. But I also realize I'm able to take it a little bit better. Something I would not have been able to do a few months ago.

Ahhh, to be able to take life for granted... To have have both parents live a long life. These are the stuff my dreams are made off.

***
And so on we live. As we must, not assuming we'll die tomorrow; not assuming that our lives will be long. We'll eat, we'll breathe, we'll work, we'll rest. We may keep whining, we may forget to be kind. We'll try not to fear, we'll try to live for the better. And we will also keep failing and keep succeeding. For if life is not for such, then what is it? To truly live, we may need some misplaced optimism and some knowledge of the darkness that lurks. Should no one exist totally in either.